For whatever reason, chickens have always been the fodder of a lot of jokes. No one can be sure why but nevertheless, joke books all around the world seem to be FULL of chicken jokes – rather impertinent if you ask me. Nonetheless, we have compiled what we think are ten of the best chicken themed jokes ever! Sit back, put your glasses on and have a read – surely more than one of them will make you laugh out loud.
Q: Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
A: She was no spring chicken.
A librarian was very sad and alone in the library one day as there was no one around for her to help. These two chickens came through the door screeching "bouk bouk." The librarian quickly got up and gave them each 5 books. The two chickens left satisfied. Just a few minutes later the same two chickens come through the door with no books screeching "bouk bouk." The librarian once again jumped up and gave each chicken 15 books this time. The chickens leave satisfied once again. Then for the third time the chickens returned screeching "bouk bouk", but this time being suspicious the librarian gave each chicken only one book and explained that they could only borrow more books once that had returned the others. As the chickens left the librarian slowly followed behind to see where all the chickens and the books were going. The chickens came to a stop by a pond and started throwing the books into the water. Appalled the librarian ran forward to tell them to stop but she suddenly noticed there were some frogs in the pond grabbing the books and throwing them back croaking behind "red-it… red-it".
Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So, he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
He asked the farmer, "what's up with these chickens?"
The farmer said, "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire."
The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "don't know, haven't caught one yet."
Psychiatrist: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I came out of my shell.
Q: What do you call a scary chicken?
A: A poultrygeist.
A man runs to the psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"
The psychiatrist asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the psychiatrist.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q:What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
A: An egg!
The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighbourhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real well son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."
There we go – that’s our top ten favourite chicken jokes! But, you’re in luck because we have one last joke left…
A kid was walking around his neighbourhood trying to sell chocolate bars to raise money for his school. He walked up to the first house which was a beautiful Mansion, only to find an Orpington answering the door. The boy asked if the owners were home however the Orpington’s only reply was “buk-buk-buk”.
The boy decided to move on to the next building which was a Penthouse at the top of an enormous skyscraper. The bellhop let the boy upstairs after he explained his cause, went up the elevator, knocked on the door and once again a small little Silkie chicken answered. The boy asked if the owners were home again but once again the silkie chicken went “buk-buk-buk” before quickly closing the door.
Finally, the boy walked on to the next house which just happened the be the Taj Mahal. The boy walked along the beautiful gardens, amazed that he hadn’t seen this house on his street before. The boy knocked on the door and was greeted by a wise, old Rhode Island Red. The boy turned his back without saying a word, but the Rhode Island Red called out to him – “how can I help you young man”. The boy was stunned to be talking to a chicken and he mumbled, “why are there so many chickens living in the neighbourhood”. The Rhode Island Red chuckled to himself before saying, “young man, these aren’t human houses, these are chicken coops”.
What is life as a chicken keeper without a few puns! Along with all the entertainment that comes with our flock, we also want to do an eggcellent job in caring for our feathered friends. Many chicken keepers struggle to handle chicken health or behaviour issues, especially in the first few years of having a flock.
This is why I recommend Chickenpedia to all my readers. They have comprehensive online courses on everything you didn’t know you need to know and then some more! From healthcare to raising baby chicks to feeding and behavior, you’ll find beginner-friendly courses that’ll give you the knowledge and confidence to successfully look after your chickens.
As a member, you will get access to ALL their fantastic courses. No need to wing it, become the ultimate chicken eggspert! Check out Chickenpedia today!